To just be me

I often long to appear normal

No longer awkward in public

But years later I know I never will

I cannot come to terms with this

Each time someone looks at me that way

I can sense how they are feeling, what they are thinking

As if I don’t know what I look like

How frightening I can appear to some

Merely because I don’t walk about with a smile all the time

I walk so tight jawed because I know how people see me

I got the same thing growing up from my own family

I am all too aware of the hilarious nature of my appearance to others

Sometimes to the point of wishing I was no longer breathing

Just so they could finally see what they were doing to me

Veiled and failed attempts leave me scarred and ashamed

I am to live out my life this way I guess

To be ridiculed publicly

To be feared by some

To be ashamed at my own self image

To just be me.

RAGE

Rage

Against the silence of pain

Rage

Against the silence of racial hatred

Rage

Against the silence of sexual bigotry

Rage

Against the silence of bullying

Rage

Against the silence of mental health disorders

Rage

Against the silence of suicidal tendencies

Rage

Against the silence of rage inspired by others hatred and misunderstanding

Rage

Against the need to silence those that rage against the wrongs of society

To some RESPECT is just a word

Domestic Violence:Suffering in Silence

I wanna come apart

Bleed my secrets out

Make them false

Make them go away

But I can’t

The bruises are instilled in me

The scars won’t go away

Each time I look in the mirror they are still there

Just because you don’t see them don’t mean I don’t

I wanna tear my eyes out so I don’t see

I wanna rip my arms off and bleed out this pain

Maybe then I could find peace like so many others feel

I know it’s not going to happen

I know I’m supposed to think it’s true

The pain is just inside my head

And I thought I’d have a clue

But each day when I wake up

I seek out the pain free life

But when I look in the mirror

I see my secrets begging to be bled out again

Begging for release

And still I hide inside for fear of reprisals

What if I tell the truth?

What will happen then?
Who will take it out on me?

Will they scar me up again?

Will they bully me more?

If you have never been in my shoes I am thrilled for you

But if you have ever felt domestic violence or bullying

I feel your pain

I always try to hide

So I cannot feel it anymore too

I wish one day the world would stop it

But words are just words and acts aren’t measured that way

So everyday when I wake up

I wanna come apart

Bleed my secrets out

Make them false

Make them go away

But I can’t