Dear God in Heaven

Dear God in Heaven,

I know you don’t think it is my time to visit you but I am not asking for myself rather I am asking for others who seek peace and understanding.

They fight daily their own minds to survive, to deal with massive issues that make the strongest of us give up.  They fight not knowing why they have been given this problem only to hear your believers tell them “God is testing you.”

I know what they would like to say in response and many like myself are too strong inside to argue their point…

We are not being tested

We struggle to breath

We live in a war no one else can conceive

We long to be free from the pain of this life

We long to find peace and live away from the strife

We cannot explain our torments of pain

We cannot make you see what we feel because it’s beyond understanding

We cannot dream of you realizing the criticism’s hurt

We cannot dream of the bullying to stop

We cannot dream in a night full of peace

We cannot close our eyes without fear of reprisals

So you see God in your heavenly wisdoms, I beg of you to make it all stop, by letting science understand what makes people like me tick through my mind.  You created science to help man understand things after all, so let it understand by studying someone who’s willing to sacrifice on the altar of your being.  I will go without fear or strife because I know I have been allowed to surpass all expectations given to me.

My life was never supposed to be this long

You gave me pills and alcohol to test my resolve

You gave me tumors to see if I wanted to live

You gave me love to help me fight through it

You took love away to see how much I could bear

My chains are heavy O’ Lord, my body has been beaten upon

My world is laden with those who have learned all too well to hate

As they hide behind the cloak of your love, O’ Lord

I do not ask for your guidance, I do not ask for your revenge for their behavior

Rather I ask you of one thing, and forgive me for repeating myself to you O’ Lord

Take my being home, so others may learn from my mistakes, may learn from my diseases

Please do not let me or anyone else suffer a day longer when they do not need to O’ Lord

Please set me free.

1	I AM the man that hath seen affliction by the rod of his wrath.
2	He hath led me, and brought me into darkness, but not into light.
3	Surely against me is he turned; he turneth his hand against me all the day.
4	My flesh and my skin hath he made old; he hath broken my bones.
5	He hath builded against me, and compassed me with gall and travail.
6	He hath set me in dark places, as they that be dead of old.
7	He hath hedged me about, that I cannot get out: he hath made my chain heavy.
8	Also when I cry and shout, he shutteth out my prayer.
9	He hath inclosed my ways with hewn stone, he hath made my paths crooked.
10	He was unto me as a bear lying in wait, and as a lion in secret places.
11	He hath turned aside my ways, and pulled me in pieces: he hath made me desolate.
12	He hath bent his bow, and set me as a mark for the arrow.
13	He hath caused the arrows of his quiver to enter into my reins.
14	I was a derision to all my people; and their song all the day.
15	He hath filled me with bitterness, he hath made me drunken with wormwood.
16	He hath also broken my teeth with gravel stones, he hath covered me with ashes.
17	And thou hast removed my soul far off from peace: I forgat prosperity.
18	And I said, My strength and my hope is perished from the LORD:
19	Remembering mine affliction and my misery, the wormwood and the gall.
20	My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me.
21	This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.
22	It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
23	They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
24	The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
25	The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.
26	It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.