Your suicide choice leaves me alone in the abyss

4 am, my mind is screaming aloud, my nightmares bare for the world to see
I see you, you’ve long since gone to a better peaceful world, but you are still here in my mind
It only hurts when I see you, when you reach out to me inside the darkness of my mind
My tears as real as the day I laid you to rest in the garden of stone
No matter what I do, no matter where I go, like a ghost you are there
Haunting my dreams when I least expect it

I could go months without you then suddenly there you are in my dreams
You hold me, you show me the love you always freely shared with me
I had no idea the pain you were hiding inside of you, till the day you expressed it in a silent sign of defiance

Forcing me to say goodbye before I was ready to let you go
Which is usually where my dreams take flight
The night before you left me alone
Our passions running free, our bodies entwined
Your love surrounding my empty, lonely soul one last time

If I could only let you go inside my mind
But there you are, begging me to save you from yourself
And once I hear you in my dreams my worlds collide yet again
My loss, my guilt for not realizing how I wasn’t there for you
In the way you had been there for me, again and again

And every part of you that haunts my dreams
Takes my soul to a deep darkened abyss
As if you are waiting for me somewhere
As lonely as I felt when you weren’t there
Until you surrounded me again with the love you had to share

And each moment since is like a dagger filled with guilt, shame
Every song, every memory revolves around you
I can’t outrun you no matter how hard I try
No matter what I do, I feel you waiting for me in the abyss
Trying to take me around the bend, so we can be together yet again.