The Weight of the Abyss

From an early age I felt it
That deep sense of death
Only it wasn’t trying to take me
It took those whom I loved
Keeping me from them
Protecting them from my darkened abyss
That inner feeling that I had destroyed their world
My life came at a cost
It cost them family

I was a constant reminder of it all
Each day with me
A hell, constantly reminding them of the loss
Some pretended it didn’t bother them
Others constantly reminding me of the memory
Taken from them
Till I inhaled the guilt thrust upon me

So deeply entrenched inside of me
I feared falling in love
When I looked in the mirror
I saw death, not life
I had no idea what someone
Could have ever seen in me
How could someone love me?
I don’t even love myself
For I carry the mark of death
Weighing heavily on my soul