I'm waiting in the Land of the Free

I can’t help the bodies

I can't stop the blood

I can hear the screams in the darkness

I can smell the death and dying

I cannot forget the guilt of living

I do not need your guilt as well

I am not telling you to kill me

I am only asking for help

I have asked them for help

I have pled with them to let me in

You leave me with guilt

You tell me to come back

You tell me to keep fighting

Can’t you see I’m tired?

Can’t you see I’m in distress?

Do you not understand I am holding enough guilt already?

Do you not see what I have become inside?

I was a soldier, a fighting machine

I served my country with honor and no regrets

I gave of myself everything I had

Now I come home and I have to fight yet again

Only my adversary is one who claims to want to help me

Claims to need me to survive

Claims to care about my feelings

Claims to understand my guilt

And still I stand at the gates of hell

The nightmares won’t let me go free

The bodies are there lying in wait

In flag covered coffins for me

I can bury no more without some help

I can let no more go past my way

I would rather sit in my car at the gates of hell

Than be denied what was promised to me

You lay on the guilt and the shame

In the hopes I will keep fighting to get in

But my fight has gone out of me

Open the doors and let me in

I don’t want to talk anymore

I just need to hide away from the darkness

I need to stop reliving my days

I hope someone soon will understand

I hope they won’t call the police

I don’t like to threaten the things that I have

But you act like you can’t understand

You lay more than enough guilt onto me

About family and friends

Don’t you see I lie in my guilt every night and day?

When I take a breath they cannot take

My friends have all gone either dead or in a fight of their own

To receive what they were promised before

In the land of the free

Home of the brave

I’m waiting

For care