A Man and his beliefs

Army Veteran James P. Duncan is lying in a hospital bed at his local VA medical center being treated for a heart condition.  The doctor informed him they need to put him on life support he immediately requested a patient advocate before he would discuss anything further with the medical staff.  Upon arrival of the patient advocate he made a request that startled the young lady who came to talk to him.

“I want you to help me file a no life support order in my file” He said quietly.

“But Mr. Duncan, you could give your family more time to prepare if you let them put you on the life support while they plan or maybe the doctors can figure out something else.”  She was clearly distressed and wishing she was somewhere else at that moment.

“My wife left me three months ago when I refused to stop smoking and eating bacon.”

She hesitated not knowing what to say to him at that moment, “Fine then.”

She filled out the paperwork and he signed it as she walked out the doorway she hesitated and turned with a tear in her eyes, “I don’t understand your choice sir.”

“Come sit down a moment and let me explain it to you then.  First I am not doing this to hurt anyone else rather I am deciding how best to end the life I have lead.  I am older and have lived through a war, a mental illness that began when I got home from that war and almost cost me my life by attempted suicide.

I met my wife when she was a volunteer at the VA hospital where I was being treated for that mental health issue.  We married nine months later and had been together for nearly 20 years, our anniversary would have been next week had she stayed.  We never had children of our own and I didn’t get along with her son, Jake.

She introduced me to her religion thinking it would help me in my struggles and to an extent it did.  But last week when I found out this was becoming an issue I used that knowledge she gave me to make a decision that struck her to the core.  I decided that if God wanted me now who was I to deny him his choice.

I am tired, mentally and physically and God must know what is best for me if he has decided I should become weakened and give my life, my soul to him.  I often think of a quote from Lamentations about a man suffering the wrath of God and becomes a prophet.  I have been a published author of poetry and short stories about my mental illness to let others understand what myself and many others have suffered through in our lives.

Because of these many things and the knowledge that I am this close to seeing my brothers in arms again who didn’t come home with me from that war, how can I refuse to go?  I want to tell them tales of how I lived when they sacrificed themselves repeatedly to keep me safe so I was able to come home to my parents.

Now do you understand why I make this choice for myself?  Does it give you comfort in my decisions so you can go in peace to live the rest of your full life I know you will do?”

“Yes, thank you.”  She left the room with a smile on her face handed the doctor the signed paperwork and walked away.  “He knows what he’s doing please don’t argue with that war hero.”