In the works

The phone rang I answered it, it was Bobbie she wanted me to stop by after work to discuss our “Relationship”.  I was astounded to find out one date was a relationship and you could hardly call it a date after all she spent the majority of it tweeting about using her words not mine, “bloody boring I was to talk to”.  I admired her stamina though so I agreed to meet with her one last time before I got back on the online dating site to hopefully find someone who actually wanted to date me, not the image she thought I was based on a short description in my profile.

I cleared my desk that is to say I turned off the laptop having filing the day’s photos and began to ready myself.  It was nice actually to live in my own studio saved on rent and no commuting and in this rural community in the middle of December; it was a godsend I swear.  I didn’t take a shower not expecting to get that close to Ms. Bobbie after all she didn’t exactly seem thrilled with our first date.  I wondered if this small town girl who acted like a supermodel had finally figured out that I was “that Jerome Thomas” as the models like to put it when they wanted to start their career three thousand miles from New York or LA.

I was more into photo shoots with musicians but these wanna-be models were coming out of the woodwork; many were high school seniors wanting to make those the shots that started it all for their careers.  Anyway, I put on a reasonably clean shirt, my favorite worn out of pair of baggy blue jeans after all I wanted to be comfortable not impressive and headed down to the local bar where she wanted to meet.  I don’t drink anymore not since waking up in the Intensive Care Unit after sleeping off a bender after 8 days.

I was cold when I entered and the bar keep, let’s call him John for the sake of the story pushed a cup of coffee my way and held up a bottle of Coke.  I took both as I always did he smiled and started cleaning off the bar.  I didn’t know that “John” had dated Bobbie just six weeks ago and when we met last time he wasn’t working but when she entered and put her nose up at him sitting with me he began to simmer, this I naturally noticed after all I do not play in another mans’ diamond, I do not sniff up another bucks doe, I think you get it.

I tried to act surprised although by the look on her face I think she set this up on purpose and I wasn’t exactly sure why.  I was polite enough to shake her hand like she was an old college buddy not that I had any left to call buddy.  I was a bit of a loner and frankly, I liked it that way.  I also had no interest in pissing off John any further because I knew he and his six buddies at the bar could easily kick my butt.

She was subtle the first half hour, no phone just flirting I was still curious as she had not told me as of yet why she wanted to meet again when she clearly wasn’t interested during the first date.  Then it came out in a flurry of statements and questions that I never had a chance to answer except the last one.

“I hear you take photos of models for their portfolio” a slight smile on her face licking her lips teasingly as if I said yes I was going to get lucky.  Yeah right lucky enough to take her photo’s then she’d be gone like all the rest.

“I have been known to take a few in my day, yes.”

“I was, well I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind…” she couldn’t get it out I think she wet her panties thinking about her future career as a supermodel, the next Kate Upton or something like that.

“NO.”

“Why the hell not?”

“You only called me to ask me to do that didn’t you?” I asked accusingly after Momma didn’t raise no fool.

She sat there stewing for about ten minutes then got up and ordered her own drink saying something else to John and his buddies as I sat there wondering when I was going to be either asked to leave or get my butt kicked because she didn’t get the answer she wanted and lied about what I might have said to her.

Less than five minutes actually and John was in my face, when suddenly this timid little round faced, blonde with the purest blue eyes I had ever seen got between him and me after he picked me up and pushed me backwards.

“He didn’t do anything John.  She asked him to take modeling photos of her and he said no, she didn’t like it that is all it was now go sit back down at the bar or give up your job immediately.”  I quickly gathered that she wasn’t only my savior it was her bar and she wasn’t taking his crap tonight at least.

He reluctantly went back to the bar, reached over grabbed a beer out of the ice tub sitting on the counter, cracked it and took a drink, “whatever.”

She sat down next to me in the chair that was pushed almost into mine and I could smell her fragrance, look deep into those eyes and constantly wonder where she came from and why didn’t I notice her before now.  She had always been at the same table when I came in even on Friday nights no one took her table in the middle of the room.  She wasn’t like most owners sitting at the end of the bar or in a corner booth scowling over every little spilt drop of their liquor on the bar, she was different in many ways.

We talked all night even after the bar closed and Bobbie had gone home with John as I figured they likely had been doing all along but she played coy to coerce me into the photo shoot that didn’t happen anyway.  Her name was Cossette, it just rolled off her tongue though she liked to be called Cosie and kept calling me Jerry no matter how tried to get her to call me Jerome.

No one called me Jerry but my Grandma and she’d been dead for ten years.

Cosie walked me upstairs to her apartment and showed me her photos that she had taken years ago when she was 19 or so and was attending a local community college but dropped out when she got pregnant by the local hound who just had to have her till he had her, got her pregnant then had to run as fast as he could away from her.  She was telling me while trying to hide the tears welling up in her eyes that her baby died at just a week old of a respiratory infection.

Her pictures were really good and I kept asking her why she didn’t go back and get her degree or for that matter come to my studio and work with me off and on when she had the time.  She smiled and said, “It’s in the works.” With a big beaming smile on her face.

It was clear that night she would have easily let me stay the night if I had wanted to just ask and believe me I wanted to; she was so beautiful in the soft lights with those eyes that seemed to just glow.  Here she was in all her loving glory offering herself up to me no strings attached and I thanked her for showing me her work and excused myself.

All the way home I kept talking myself, “moron really great your freaking moron she wanted you.  What the hell is wrong with you dummy?”  Which of course was met with odd stares by the nuts walking their dogs at that hour in the falling snow wondering why they weren’t in bed where it was nice and warm?

I sat there all night drinking coffee thinking of Cosie, how much I wanted to talk to her, tell her I was falling in love already but there I sat, alone in my studio with my photos, my degrees and my moronic monk like hormones.  She was just a few blocks away and I was cold and alone.

For several months, we went through the same ritual night after night and always ended the same way about working with me or going to college, hell I even offered to pay her way in exchange for help at my studio in the daytime when the bar was closed and she wasn’t in classes.

“It’s in the works.” A beaming smile on her face.

One day I went to the bar and the doors were locked and the lights were off I kept tugging at the door calling her name, “Cosie….Cosie let me in beautiful eyes.” No answer.

John grabbed me from behind startling me and I waited for him to punch me in the face for not helping his now wife get her photos taken.  Instead, he had a sad look on his face as if he felt sorry for me but I had no idea why he looked that way at me.

“She’s gone Jerome; she’s been gone for almost two years you have to let her go man.”

I didn’t understand she had just talked to me last night she was considering my offer to go to school and I would pay for it.  But, again he kept looking like he pitied me and I had no idea what was going on.  He asked me to take a walk with him, I did but he never said a word till we go to his new office at the police station.

“Come on inside Mr. Thomas and we can talk about it.”

“It’s Jerome please…where is Cosie has she gone on a trip?”

“She died last year of cancer don’t you remember you gave the eulogy Mr. Thomas.  You buried your wife last year sir…I called your son he wants you to come live with him for the time being in Grand Rapids, I think that would be a good idea…what do you think?”

I didn’t understand what was happening.  Why was he saying these horrible things about Cosie she didn’t die I just hugged her goodnight last night before I left her apartment.  I can still smell her fragrance on my jacket.

Before long, a man walked in I didn’t recognize and John said it was my son.  I had no idea I had a son yesterday I was single when I again didn’t sleep with her after the inviting looks before the hug and her gentle kiss on my neck.

“Dad, come on we need to go get your things it’s supposed to storm later and I want to get home to Mandy and the kids before it does alright.”

“Who are you and why are you calling me Dad?  I don’t understand where’s Cosie I need to talk to her she’s going to college, it’s in the works.”

“Daddy, mom died last year.  I need you to understand.” He knelt down to look me in the eyes; I was staring at the floor.

I just kept shaking my head no, I didn’t understand I just talked to her she was so young and beautiful like she never aged…never aged…where have I been…what was I thinking about…”I need to get to my studio now!” I demanded as I stood up and began walking out the front door.

“Dad you sold the studio and bought the house when I was just 6 months old.  Don’t you remember?”  I didn’t.

“I need Cosie’s portfolio if I see it I know she will show up and hug me, I just know it.”

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks or shall I say a photo and an obituary.  It was sitting on the desk in front of me in the file John had.  There was Cosie in all her beautiful splendor, young vibrant and as pure as the moment she put herself in harm’s way to protect me.  I could see the date on the newspaper; I could see who wrote the obituary, it was my name.

“Cossette “Cosie” (Jerome) Thomas died of cancer with her beautiful family around her with the exception of her first child Michael who will be meeting her in heaven.  She was always working on her beautiful portfolio of pictures that seemed to always be of her husband Jerome, her son Jerry his wife and kids.  She was a former local bar owner, polite ear and always had something “in the works.”