Mike had no idea why he was walking along the beach that morning in his Dress Greens, his patent leather shoes were soaked, covered in dirt. He kept wandering about having no real idea how he even got there in the first place. "Hey Top" he heard from behind him was a small framed woman with a big smile on her face, "you going to wander out here all day or come inside?"
He took her hand she was holding out for him as she guided him back inside the Lakeside Funeral Home. Mike could remember her face but, her name was escaping him somehow as he walked behind her. He felt dirty as kept thinking to himself how much he liked her walk in front of him, her hair was curled just so and the wiggles at the bottom were rustling against her curvy little bottom.
"My eyes are up here Sarge" she giggled as she stopped and sat him down next to the casket right before the preacher began to give his speech.
"We are all gathered here today to honor this man, the father of six, a husband and a trusted friend. He had been there for me since I was a mere little boy when the bullies thought I was an easy target, he often put himself in front of me. At the time he was only about two inches taller than me, small framed and more afraid than I was.
He never hesitated over the year to put himself in front of those around him who were in danger. No one was surprised those many years ago when he volunteered to join the military to defend our country, home and his friends.
The first time he went into combat his family as well as I was terrified for him but, he stood proud and protected those around him who were hurt and dying. We saw pictures of him occasionally with his shirt covered in blood, a jaunt young man who looked like he was lost somewhere with no home. But, he eventually came home to marry his high school sweetheart and raise the six kids in the house where he was raised.
Each time the service called he kept going having volunteered for the Guard when he heard there was another issue somewhere. He served as a medic, a translator and his last assignment he was a minister of god. He had put down his weapon and spent the last three years of his twenty years serving others in a new way still putting himself in harms way during combat.
We were very surprised when Mike was found last week lying in his lawn chair out behind his house. He was so peaceful, a smile upon his face a pad of paper on his lap, his pen lying on is right leg as he was preparing to write down the next bible study sermon. I would like to read for you now what he wrote as it is pertinent today for many didn't know how he suffered from Manic Depression throughout his entire life. How he suffered, so let me read what he wrote on the page:
"He has aged my flesh and my skin, And broken my bones. He has besieged me And surrounded me with Bitterness and woe. He has set me in dark places Like the dead of long ago. He has hedged me in so that I cannot get out; He has made my chains heavy. Even when I cry and shout, He has made my paths crooked. Let him sit alone and keep silent, Because God has laid it on him."
No one knew that Mike was ever suffering himself as he desperately tried to hide the pain inside of him. But, I often think that this was the reason that he put himself in those positions of danger and harm. He was so desperately trying to free himself from his pain and suffering seeking some reason in his mind as to why God would do this to him.
I cannot say that God does this to test people who suffer from this dreadful disease because the worst of the sufferers often live in silence since they are ridiculed or left out as they are thought of being crazy. Mike was not crazy; he was a good man who just wanted to be free from his pain.
Many times I sat up with him at my house as he cried out how he was verbally torturing those in his life. His poor loving wife, the kids and even at times those he would protect from harm. No one saw the marks on his body where he used to cut himself, the burns he left on his arms when he wanted to die but chose to burn out the pain. So today we say goodbye to the one man that we should all be happy for, pray for, love more than the first day he said hello to you. Mike was an honored Veteran, a father, a man among men and my friend and I will miss him greatly. Please all stand up and pass by to say your last goodbyes to this honorable man."
Everyone stood up and passed by the casket where he laid when Mike got up following the pretty lady he couldn't remember he was stunned when he saw the man lying there in front of him. Tears welled up in his eyes as he looked at himself lying there finally at peace, "Goodbye Mike" was all he said as he walked away. -As previously published on Helium.com
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