Some Nights

Some nights I am afraid to close my eyes
For sometimes the dreams are worse than reality
Sometimes they remind me of those I’ve lost
Sometimes they remind me of things I will never have
Sometimes they remind me of mistakes I’ve made
Sometimes they just make me fear falling asleep
Because every once in a while they tear at my soul
Because every once in a while I make love to someone again
Because every once in a while I talk to those I miss dearly
Because every once in a while I relive a painful memory
Because some nights I have to fear to close my eyes
Because some nights I know what comes next
A darkness that swallows me whole
A darkness that engulfs my mind
A darkness that pushes people away
A darkness that keeps me empty inside
A darkness that pushes me to the edge yet again
And in that darkness I learn yet again to fear some nights