Mike walked down the snow covered sidewalk his breath fogging up his glasses as for once the winter winds were still seemingly to ease this walk for him. He had made this same walk a thousand times to the same spot where his life changed forever. The one memory that still rings in his head before he wakes up each morning.
“Hey Mike going back huh?” the local Jewelry store owner giggled as he walked past.
“Yeah, I can’t help myself.” he replied a big grin on his face.
He arrived at 200 Miller Street and stopped as he had done many times before but, this time he looked around and waited. A car pulled up in front of him and the passenger window lowered snow falling into the car, “Oh I forgot about the snow, are you ready to go Mike?” the small framed lady sitting in the drivers seat asked him.
He didn’t respond he just got in and put on his seatbelt as he had done all the times before. “Let’s go.” Was all he said as he pointed the driver onward as they had done all the times before. He sat there quietly with anxiety listening to the music playing on the radio.
They pulled up and he got out, walked into the building down the hall turned right and opened the doorway marked, “Kids Zone.” Mike took a deep breathe and entered started immediately smiling and desperately trying to hold back the tears, “Ok, who’s ready to laugh?” he stated standing in a clown’s outfit his big shoes almost tripping him up on the end of the hospital beds.
He entertained the kids for over two hours smiling all the way desperately trying to hide the desire to tear up. With each laugh and smile from those faces his need feigned but kept a constant vigil inside Mike. When he took his final bow and the Nurses shoved him out as they always do he left.
He walked into the men’s room where his clothes were waiting for him to change as they had been a thousand times before. He stood looking in the mirror weeping tears messing up his clown face as it had done a thousand times before. “You’re ok Mike.” he kept saying to himself, “You’re ok.
He cleaned up and got dressed alone in the bathroom as he had done so many times before since only one time before had anyone bothered him during this time. It was the second time he did his act in the “Kids Zone” Dr. Lowe entered and wanted to thank him for lifting the children spirits and made one fatal error, “Mike I was just wondering why you cry afterward? I could hear you sobbing and was just wondering if you’re ok to be around the kids.”
Mike sat down on the chair and began to explain how two years before his wife and daughter were in an accident. How they were driving down Miller Street and crashed into another car when they slid through the stop sign. His family was ok just a few broken bones but, the small child in the other vehicle was on their way home for the Christmas holiday and was killed instantly when the vehicles collided.
“But, that doesn’t explain why you do this if your family is alright now.” The Dr replied concerned that Mike was possibly having other mental health issues.
Mike looked up at him, his eyes full of tears his lip quivering as he said only one thing, “I was driving drunk.”
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