Friday, May 3, 2013

Childhood trauma

There I am in the moment
Hits to the body, pain to the face
For what? Spilt milk? No

Because I responded in a manner that wasn't what he wanted
Because I was too small, too weak to fight back

After the remorseful soul

As if speaking to a battered wife
The usual crap "I won't do it again"

No matter how hard I cried out
No matter how many times I begged for protection

Nothing an empty response or nothing at all

It was as if I deserved what I got and got what I deserved

Never any sincere explanation, nor apologies

Just the same response

"Not this again!"

As if my pain wasn't real, my begging for even an
explanation of why they never stopped it would have killed them.

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